Warnings have been issued over the years advising people to avoid investing in this global industry. Still people chose to purchase the stock – some one share at a time, others in large quantities. Each time they invest even one dollar into this corporation, they participate in destroying their own lives as well as the dreams and aspirations of others. Family and friends are even forced into the role of unwitting participants.

The government has taken a stand, as well as various groups around the globe, making it harder for people to invest in this corporation. Still people choose to disregard the signs that will eventually lead to their own demise. They continue their dangerous path of destruction. Why? Why do well educated human beings choose a pathway that is known to cause heartache and utter despair in order to be part of 51 billion dollar industry?

Doesn’t this elusive business have enough of our hard earned money? As well as our personal blood, sweat and tears? I’m sure you’re probably wondering to yourselves, “What industry can she possibly be writing about?” Perhaps you would like to know if you have somehow missed the hundreds of warnings that are issued each year about this industry. Well here is the answer: Have you ever gotten behind the wheel of a vehicle with any alcohol, even one drink in your system? If you have, then you have invested in the 51 billion dollar club.

It is estimated that each year 51 billion dollars is spent on alcohol related crashes. During 2003 (NHTSA 2004a), 17,013 deaths occurred in the U.S. alone because of alcohol-impaired drivers; 2,136 of those deaths were children under the age of 14. These investors have killed the future. This represents nearly ½ of all traffic related deaths in the U.S.

Most of those murdered were unsuspecting bystanders, not the impaired driver. And that is, after all, what this is…murder. Vehicular manslaughter. Vehicular homicide. You can put whatever name you want on this criminal action to help lesson the burden of the offenders, but the fact is they knowingly got behind the wheel of what turned out to be a killing machine and killed.

Although the court system doesn’t define it as such, actions of this sort can even be likened to first-degree murder. Just look at the definitions for a moment. Taken directly from lawforkids.org, first degree murder is defined as: “causing the death of another person with either the intent or knowledge that the conduct will cause death and with premeditation. Premeditation is often described as ‘malice aforethought,’ which basically means that you probably considered the consequence of your conduct for at least a second before you committed the act.”

With all the education available, those who drink and drive know the possible consequences of their actions before they get into their vehicle to drive. Yet, still they turn on the ignition, shift into first gear and off they go.

Why do we allow the death toll from this activity to continue? Several years ago people used the excuse “There but for the grace of God go I” to turn a blind eye to the problem. That’s about the time I discovered that the second member of my family, my sister, had been killed in an alcohol-related crash. (Jurors were sympathetic to the driver of the vehicle, thinking back to times they had gotten behind the wheel of their car after having a “drink or two.”) The drivers in all these cases got off with a warning or a light sentence.

I have since lost another 5 members of my family and friends to these murderers. Lest you think these are mere statistics I am citing for you, let me put names to my data: Rosie (my cousin, 28, and a mother of a newborn in the car at that time), Janet (my sister, “twin” and best friend, 22), Marsha (my cousin, 25, and the mother of a five-year-old in the car at the time), and Lisa (my counselee, 12, as well as her mother, 36, and her brother Jonathan, 8). As if that wasn’t enough, a few weekends ago the tally in my family went up again.

Natasha, 16 years old, was on the way to her winter ball. A drunk driver crashed into the side of her vehicle, killing her instantly and turning her boyfriend into a quadriplegic. Thanks to yet another driver who chose to be part of the 51 billion dollar club. This driver hasn’t had his sentencing hearing yet.

How can we stop the carnage? Law enforcement has doubled efforts to curtail DWI’s, setting up sobriety checks and adding stiffer penalties on both the drivers and the establishments they had been drinking in. Criminal and civil lawsuits have inundated the courts. Education has been tripled and pamphlets are even sent out with our yearly car registration.

There are agencies that offer free rides to any driver who calls them in need of transportation after drinking. There is also the option of sleeping in your car, spending 55 cents on a phone call if you don’t have a cell phone handy, or paying $69.00 at a local motel if all else fails. Yet all of this is obviously still not enough to deter some people from getting behind their wheel and taking the life of another innocent victim.

So what is the answer? To tell you the truth, I don’t know. But I do know what will help. From one heartbroken member of these senseless tragedies, I am going to do what I can to get laws imposed that require every vehicle have Ignition Interlock systems installed on them.

Interlock systems are currently used for repeat offenders in many states around the U.S., but we need a shift from light punishments and warnings into prevention. I believe that installing these units on every new vehicle sold and requiring them to be installed on every used vehicle in U.S. (a check could be made during smog inspections to see that the law was obeyed) would save taxpayers court costs and insurance companies billions of dollars every year. More importantly, it would save family and friends the devastating loss of yet another innocent victim and another trip to the morgue to identify their loved one.

For those of us who don’t drink and drive, it will be a minor nuisance. For those who do drink and drive, they will fight any steps that inconvenience their irresponsible and potentially deadly lifestyle. Think back a little to the seat belt issue. Many opposed the seat belt law when it went into affect.

But why were we forced to wear our seat belts? Because most people didn’t do so voluntarily, and the number of accidental deaths and near fatal injuries that could have been prevented was so staggering that government decided to step in and intervene on our behalf. The deaths and injuries were senseless. The same holds true here. Drinking and driving is a senseless and oftentimes unjustly punished crime.

Won’t you join me in this fight? Don’t let the next phone call you get late at night be from the hospital telling you a loved one was injured in a drunk driving accident. Don’t let the knock at the door at 3 AM be from a policeman telling you someone you loved has just been killed in an alcohol-related death. What price would you be willing to pay for your son or daughter, sister or brother, mother or father? Forever is a long time. Are you willing to pay the price for the 51 billion dollar club? Think about Ignition Interlock systems and contact your state officials – put the pressure on them. Let them know we won’t stand for the rules of the 51 billion dollar club anymore.

To find out more about what an Ignition Interlock system is and how it works, please go to: http://www.acs-corp.com/interloc.htm

One more note: In my recent travels, I came upon a state that publicly brands someone who drinks and drives. How? The person who has committed the crime is required to have each vehicle they drive outfitted with bright yellow / orange license plates. This allows other drivers to identify him / her as someone who may be driving under the influence. This is another great deterrent.

Many tourist attractions offer special pricing and benefits for those families wanting to spend the holidays away from home, they offer a comforting alternative with a lot less clean up. Thanksgiving can be a treat in the rocky mountains of Colorado or the quaint hills of Tennessee.

Many restaurants offer catering for your dinner. This way, the cooks can spend that time relaxing by the fireplace or spending that well-deserved time off with family instead of slaving at the stove. Alternatively, if you’re a person that enjoys cooking for the Thanksgiving, then there are comfortable cabins or hotels with kitchenettes available so that the cook can still prepare that delicious Thanksgiving Turkey or ham.

If you have small children what better way to spend Christmas than at a resort like Disney World or at a ski resort. Your children can enjoy having Mickey Mouse tuck them in at night.

If Disney isn’t your thing, don’t despair, many other places offer neat things such as Elf Tuck in service for your children at night and pictures with Santa Clause during the daytime. The holiday rates are usually lower during this season so you can better afford to travel during the Thanksgiving and Christmas season.

You might want to consider contacting your travel agent to check for special pricing for the season. They could help you plan your entire trip from the moment you leave the airport to the moment you return home. If you’re a do-it-yourself type of person, then the Internet is a great place to begin your search for a holiday travel destination.

Although the holidays are usually associated with the colder weather, getting the Christmas chills isn’t for everyone. If you and your loved ones aren’t much on the cold weather during Christmas Holidays, you might want to travel to the islands of Hawaii or to Florida so you can enjoy the warmer climate and take-in some Christmas traditions from other parts of the country.

Light up the Yule Log on the beach this year. Have fun decorating a palm tree for Christmas. If you’re reading to really spread your wings for the holidays, talk to your travel agent about traveling abroad! There are all sorts of different ways to celebrate a traditional holiday away from your home. You might even find some new traditions to bring back with you and make them a part of your own.

On the other hand, maybe you all went out for dinner and then sang Christmas carols to those in the hospital. No matter what you did as a child, you likely look back on the memories with a smile on your face.

As you grow however and have a family of your own, you may start longing to start some holiday and Christmas traditions yourself. Sure, you may want to keep some that you grew up participating in, but there also may be some of your childhood family traditions that you would rather skip right over. The great thing about having a family of your own is that you can create your own family traditions for the holidays. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or not. Everyone can benefit!

The reason holiday traditions are so important for a family is because they build strong bonds. The holidays are times when stress is at all-time peaks. The truth is that most families are rushing from store to store trying to purchase things and getting stressed out the whole time. Then everyone comes home exhausted and cranky. This can be difficult to deal with. Instead of making this Christmas all about gifts, why not make it about being together and bonding.

The best way to start family holiday traditions is to gather everyone in the house and have a meeting. Ask everyone to suggest one thing the whole family can do together. Your children might want to help make cookies or your spouse might want to snuggle on the couch for a holiday movie.

No matter what they suggest, try them! If everyone has a great time, you can remember to do the same thing each year, therefore creating a family tradition. Of course, if one activity doesn’t quite pan out as planned, you can always choose to drop that one and find another. That is how the process goes.

As you repeat your new family holiday and Christmas traditions each year, you will be establishing a family routine that only your family takes part in. It creates a strong bond within your family and will create memories that will last forever! So, be sure to take the time this year to plan some new holiday traditions for you and your family to try. It can be a lot of fun and help you relax and laugh during the holidays. Remember, even if it is just you and your spouse, you can create family traditions that you might share with your future children one day!

Holiday Depression, better known as “the holiday blues,” is real and it affects quite a number of people every year. The symptoms are wide and varied and can be brought on by the stress, fatigue and the tension that often occur during the holiday season.

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” “I’ll Have a Blue Christmas” and other songs filled with sadness at not being with family and friends during the holiday season do not touch the depth of despair that can take place, especially during December, a month that seems to be filled with a lot of hustle and bustle as well as “joy of the season.”

There are several obvious reasons for “the holiday blues” or “holiday depression syndrome,” such as being without family or friends, being with family that you have difficulty with, insecurity and anxiety about the future and finances, feelings of inadequacy, sadness over not having met goals you wished to obtain, as well as over committing your time.

How can you help alleviate the holiday blues and depression that plagues many people during this time of year?

First, it’s important to understand that you are not alone in the way you feel. Statistically, millions of people every year feel exactly the way you do. Some people may even be to the point of uncontrollable weeping and a feeling of severe loneliness.

These may even be the same people surrounding you with huge smiles on their faces in public or the ones who seem to have everything, including what appears to be a great family.

The next step to help ease the holiday blues symptoms is to avoid instant gratification of any kind. Instant gratification is like sugar is to a diabetic. It will bring you up quickly and then drop you down even faster with devastating, maybe even disastrous, results.

Take your vitamins. Go to your local health food store to find out what will work best for you. B vitamins are great for stress relief, as is Theanine, which is an amino acid and can be found in green tea. Both can act as calming agents. Do not take any supplements without the express advice and approval of your doctor.

Whatever you do, forget about comparing the past with the present. What do I mean by that? I am talking about spending time remembering the way things used to be during happier times and how bad they appear to be today.

The more you focus on the negative, the more negative you will feel. Try to find something positive to focus on every day and write it down. Keep a list and make a copy to post on the mirror in your bathroom, on the refrigerator door and in your car to name a few places. Read the list aloud to yourself several times a day.

Focusing on the positive things, even if there are only one or two things you can come up with, such as you have a pleasant smile, nice hands or you have a car to drive and a roof over your head, will help you retrain your brain chemicals to flow in a more positive and happy light.

Keep your activities and expectations realistic. Don’t overbook yourself. If you have nothing to do, get involved, but pace yourself! Many activities can help you with the “holiday blues syndrome.”

Let me name a few:

Become involved in a local charity group or outreach program. There is Make-A-Wish, The Salvation Army, Jaycees, The Red Cross and many soup kitchens around your area. You can check my website: Christmas With Love for a more extensive list of organizations you can provide your services to. Helping others will help you feel better about yourself and change your outlook on life. Make this a permanent habit and reap rewards in your emotional state forever.

Exercise. Exercise has been proven to release natural hormones called endorphins into the human body. Endorphins help to make people happier. You will also reap the benefits of becoming healthier with the added advantage of extra energy that is always a bonus. Why not make this a permanent part of your daily routine?

Join a social club or group. Why be alone when you don’t have to be? Use the Internet to find clubs in your area. I list many ideas in my book, Winning Points With The Love in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time: How to Score for Men and Women, but here are a few search terms to get you started. Outdoor club, dinner club, ballet club, book club, board game club, water-ski club and snow club, etc.

There is another reason why so many people may get the holiday blues around this time of year and that can be a direct result of the sun. There is a disorder called Seasonal Affective Disorder or S.A.D. This is the consequence of less available hours of sunlight as the days become shorter during the winter months. Check with your doctor to see if phototherapy is something that may help you.

One final note: It is always best, if you can afford it, to seek out qualified, professional help. A good professional can help determine if your depression is only a temporary symptom due to holiday stressors or a deeper issue that may require medication.

If you can’t afford a professional and you do not have insurance, confide in a close and trustworthy friend until you can find help that comes without cost. The most important thing to do is to recognize that you aren’t happy and become proactive in your treatment and changing your life.

Nothing will change if you sit alone in your room. Do you remember the song from “Santa Claus is Coming To Town?” “Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking out the door.” That’s exactly what you need to do in order to succeed in losing the holiday blues and putting a smile back on your face and back into your heart.

The truth is that the average family must make an effort to stay home and find things that are fun to do at home. When you do stay in more, you will realize your family is happier and not nearly as stressed out! Use these tips to help spur your memory and figure out exactly what you can do this Christmas season.

Family Traditions

One of the easiest ways to have fun at home during the holidays is to participate in family traditions. Many families have certain activities they do each holiday season. Some will help decorate the house with holiday décor together. Others will choose to hunt for a live Christmas tree together. No matter what you do as a family, you can guarantee that spending time together and in your home will make you feel great this holiday season. If you don’t have any specific family traditions yet, you can always make this season the one where you create some great ones. There are no rules on this front, so just be creative and have fun!

Music

Another way you can have fun at home during the holidays is by getting in the holiday mood. One of the best ways to get into the holiday mood is by playing music. Playing holiday music in your home may sound a little ridiculous to you. However, the sound of the holiday music can bring out the bonding in everyone. You can play board games with your family while listening to holiday music and eating holiday cookies. Your kids will love it!

Parties

If you love to entertain, having a party is also a great way to have fun at home. You can throw a big bash, or only have a few friends over for appetizers and eggnog. Having a holiday party is perfect because your home is likely already decorated. So, all you need to do is pick up a few food choices and make some phone calls. Of course, if you want, you can always just create a small holiday party for your children and your spouse. You can sip eggnog by the tree and sit on the floor reading stories all night. Anything you can do to help your family develop great holiday memories is a good thing.

So make an effort to stay home more this holiday season. Find things that make your family happy and try them. You just might find that you would rather stay home than go out!

How do you influence someone to want to buy your product without being a pushy, obnoxious salesperson? By making it about the consumer and not about you. You may have heard that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. While that may be true in some cases, the squeaky wheel is also damaging their future relationship with that customer.

Consumers don’t like to be bullied. If you want to influence them, you must capture them with emotion. Here is an example (The following book and title are fictional. I made them up for this article. Any resemblance to another book or title is strictly coincidence.):
On The Edge is a great mystery novel filled with horror, who done it and suspense. This book is a great gift and stocking stuffer for those in your family who enjoy a good intrigue. Don’t miss the holiday sale special. Buy today and receive…

Here is the same type of ad, but personalized.

Do you or someone you know love suspense and intrigue? Do you miss reading the old time mystery thrillers? On The Edge will bring you back to the time when you couldn’t put a book down and would read it under the covers with a flashlight.

Do you see the difference? One ad, while perfectly acceptable, is just an ad that talks about the book. The next ad makes the book about the consumer and draws them into a more emotional state, which can have a powerful effect on their purchase.

It’s been proven that people buy more with emotion than logic. If you help your customer feel your product or service will benefit them and with it they will experience pleasure and success, you’ve hit a home run. The only way to do that is to make it about them and help them feel how it will benefit them.

Once you have done that, you must have a product or service that really delivers or you will lose the customer loyalty that will bring them back again as well as getting referrals.

Do you have a favorite store, brand, or restaurant? Think about why it is your favorite and what brings you back to it repeatedly even if you see a similar product, brand or restaurant that may cost less money. Once you have truly thought about what compels you to go back, use the same words and thoughts that come to your mind to help sell your product.

Another way to help influence a buyer is to have recommendations and endorsements for your product. People love to read how your product helped someone. This is called a social endorsement. How do you get a social endorsement?

Anytime someone shares a story about what you or your product has done for him or her, ask if you can use his or her information as a quote. Let them know you will put their website or company information up as a cross promotion.

The last two powerful ways to influence people and draw them to your product or service are to share your personal story and to ask questions. Sharing your story will explain on a realistic and emotional level why you are qualified to help them and what makes you an expert in your field.

Asking questions about your customer will show them you are interested in them, and it will help them see that you understand their needs. These two strategies will attract people to you and help promote customer loyalty.

The most important thing to remember is understanding your target customer and their needs. Offer them a service that says you understand where they are at and that you are there to help them.

If holidays usually get you down and you’re really dreading the hustle and bustle of preparation rather than investing time with family and friends, then perhaps you should try some new traditions this year. Instead of one person slaving over the Thanksgiving Turkey all day, make the turkey preparation a family event. It can make a dreaded task become one of your favorite holiday traditions. Assign each family member a responsibility for the turkey.

For Instance, have an older child monitor the turkey thermometer. They’ll most likely take the responsibility seriously and be busy little bees eagerly awaiting the turkey to be ready to eat. When it’s a family event, you’re making lasting memories so don’t hold back.

Why not assign another child the responsibility of setting the Thanksgiving or Christmas table or making Thanksgiving or Christmas crafts such as homemade table settings. This, too, can give them a vested interest in the Thanksgiving and Christmas meals. With Christmas around the corner, there are several new projects you can try and hopefully have fun and start some new traditions as well, or enhance your current traditions. (To find out more about projects, recipes and Christmas Carols, http://www.christmaswithlove.com will give you everything you need).

Try doing making some homemade ornaments to spread holiday cheer. Not only will it decorate your home for the holidays, it makes fabulous, personalized gifts for loved ones. Light up the Yule Log and make them by the warmth of the fire. In addition, what a wonderful place to have your holiday photos taken for those Christmas cards?

Christmas is often the busiest times of year; however, it’s one of the best times to make memories. Why not create memories for others not as fortunate as you and your loved ones by participating in a time old tradition, Christmas Caroling. Many shut-ins and elderly people can’t travel for the holidays and enjoy having others visit and spreading the Christmas cheer.

With the Internet at your fingertips, it’s not difficult to find many holiday activities to participate in this holiday season. Spice up your meals with new recipes, new ways to decorate your home, learn how to make homemade wrapping paper to add your or your child’s personal touch. The holidays are an opportunity to make memories new and old and to enjoy your loved ones. It’s the time to celebrate each other and yourself. Holiday’s are busy, but they don’t have to be a mindless terror. With a little organization and a lot of family fun, you can put the joy back into the holiday season.

Yet every year time seems to slip away and suddenly the holidays arrive. You end up racing to the stores, panic-stricken, trying to find candy in the empty racks or a beautiful turkey for the dinner table that is now triple the price because the only store that has any left is the high-end market down the street.

Even worse, when you need to find that ideal last-minute gift for your loved ones, it is no longer available in the color or size needed and all the toys requested from Santa are sold out with no re-stocks in the near future. You end up paying far too much money for something that will most likely be returned or never used.

Now imagine an entirely different scenario. Imagine arriving Christmas morning stress free, able to sit back and enjoy a calm holiday with your family because you still have cash in the bank and time on your hands.

How can you beat holiday stress, save big bucks and arrive stress free for Christmas? Start today. The time to put a plan into action is now. Black Friday has arrived and there is no better time to start cashing in on huge bargains than right now. You can buy all your gifts and foods (ones that can be frozen) now and save large amounts of money. If you sign up for the customer loyalty programs, you may even be able to get brand name gifts for no more than sales tax only as I did last year.

Many huge sales take place the day after Thanksgiving. Most stores have huge discounts on name brand clothing, toys and jewelry to name just a few categories. Example: Last year a diamond bracelet valued at $5,000 was on sale for $199.00 but only the day after Thanksgiving and only during the early bird special. That’s typical of the type of sales you can expect if you do your research.

Check out the stock in the store now if you’re already there and make a list of what you would like to buy on sale the day after Thanksgiving so you are prepared to head straight to the departments needed. Making a road map of what department you want to hit first will help you avoid wandering aimlessly and missing the items you’ve placed on your list. If you think of it as a game show or competition, you’ll be more inspired.

How many times have you said to yourself: This year I will get Christmas cards out. Before you know it December is nearly over and Christmas is days away. You haven’t purchased the Christmas cards let alone put a stamp on one and you are too busy with everything else to do it. You beat yourself up, frustrated that yet again you are too late and time has run out. To avoid this frustrating cycle, start now when you aren’t as busy as you will be later on in the season.

Do one envelope a day or two or three a week and by Christmas, you will have reached your goal. If you don’t have Christmas cards left over from last year, do a Christmas letter instead to save time and money. Then after Christmas buy the cards for next year at 75% off so you’ll have the cards ready to go for next year.

Whatever you do, don’t overbook yourself. The holidays are not a contest and no one remembers who did the most last year. To avoid the stress of overbooking, make a wall calendar and put up the events that are most important to you and then prioritize. If you see it on a large scale in front of you, it will look like a map and help you make better choices for your time.

Take a bubble bath after a long day, with candles lit. If you have children, have your partner watch them so you can sit back and relax. Make sure to get some “me” time. Whatever you do, try to avoid diets during the holiday season. They will only add to your frustration and drain you of much needed energy. Instead, eat a healthy, well balanced diet and exercise. The exercise will give you the endorphins needed to keep the joy and celebration during the Christmas holidays.

There are many more stress busting ideas and ways to save money that you can come up with on your own. These are just a few to get you started. The main goal is to start now and be ready when the time comes so you won’t be shopping when you’re stressed out and frustrated. Make the time now and you’ll be enjoying the holidays as you did when you were a kid.

Yet every year time seems to slip away and suddenly the holidays arrive. You end up racing to the stores, panic-stricken, trying to find candy in the empty racks or a beautiful turkey for the dinner table that is now triple the price because the only store that has any left is the high-end market down the street.

Even worse, when you need to find that ideal last-minute gift for your loved ones, it is no longer available in the color or size needed and all the toys requested from Santa are sold out with no re-stocks in the near future. You end up paying far too much money for something that will most likely be returned or never used.

How can you beat pre-holiday stress and save big bucks at the same time? Start today. The time to put a plan into action is now. Halloween is nearly here and there are big savings in the candy isle already featuring Halloween candy. Buy the candy now, wrap it in a brown paper bag and hide it in your freezer so no one knows it’s there but you. If you are a candy nut like me, buy a bit for yourself so you won’t be tempted to snarf it.

Now is also the time to plan for Thanksgiving and Christmas. While the meat is not on sale yet, you can call your local market and ask the store manager when their holiday meats will go on sale. Most store managers will give you an approximate date for when the meat you desire will go on sale at their store. Mark that date on your calendar.

How many times have you said to yourself: This year I will get Christmas cards out. Before you know it December is nearly over and Christmas is days away. You haven’t purchased the Christmas cards let alone put a stamp on one and you are too busy with everything else to do it. You beat yourself up, frustrated that yet again, you are too late and time has run out. To avoid this frustrating cycle, start now when you aren’t as busy as you will be later on in the season.

Do one envelope a day or two or three a week and by Christmas, you will have reached your goal. If you don’t have Christmas cards left over from last year, do a Christmas letter instead to save time and money. Then after Christmas buy the cards for next year at 75% off so you’ll have the cards ready to go for next year.

Now is also the time to shop for Christmas gifts. Many huge sales take place during Back to School Days and the day after Thanksgiving. Most stores have huge discounts on name brand clothing, toys and jewelry to name just a few categories.

Example: Last year a diamond bracelet valued at $5,000 was on sale for $199.00 but only the day after Thanksgiving and only during the early bird special. That’s typical of the type of sales you can expect if you do your research.

Check out the stock in the store now if you’re already there and make a list of what you would like to buy on sale the day after Thanksgiving so you are prepared to head straight to the departments needed. Making a road map of what department you want to hit first, will help you avoid wandering aimlessly and missing the items you’ve placed on your list. If you think of it as a game show or competition, you’ll be more inspired.

There are many more stress busting ideas and ways to save money that you can come up with on your own. These are just a few to get you started. The main goal is to start now and be ready when the time comes so you won’t be shopping when you’re stressed out and frustrated. Make the time now and you’ll be enjoying the holidays as you did when you were a kid.

Every year stress is a main ingredient during the holidays. With Halloween around the corner and Thanksgiving and Christmas not far off, most of us think say the same thing to ourselves: This is the year I will shop early so I can avoid last minute shopping. I will begin the holiday season fully relaxed and enjoy it!

Yet every year time seems to slip away and suddenly the holidays arrive. You end up racing to the stores, panic-stricken, trying to find candy in the empty racks or a beautiful turkey for the dinner table that is now triple the price because the only store that has any left is the high-end market down the street.

Even worse, when you need to find that ideal last-minute gift for your loved ones, it is no longer available in the color or size needed and all the toys requested from Santa are sold out with no re-stocks in the near future. You end up paying far too much money for something that will most likely be returned or never used.

How can you beat pre-holiday stress and save big bucks at the same time?  Start today. The time to put a plan into action is now. Halloween is nearly here and there are big savings in the candy isle already featuring Halloween candy. Buy the candy now, wrap it in a brown paper bag and hide it in your freezer so no one knows it’s there but you. If you are a candy nut like me, buy a bit for yourself so you won’t be tempted to snarf it.

Now is also the time to plan for Thanksgiving and Christmas. While the meat is not on sale yet, you can call your local market and ask the store manager when their holiday meats will go on sale. Most store managers will give you an approximate date for when the meat you desire will go on sale at their store. Mark that date on your calendar.

How many times have you said to yourself: This year I will get Christmas cards out. Before you know it December is nearly over and Christmas is days away. You haven’t purchased the Christmas cards let alone put a stamp on one and you are too busy with everything else to do it. You beat yourself up, frustrated that yet again, you are too late and time has run out. To avoid this frustrating cycle, start now when you aren’t as busy as you will be later on in the season.

Do one envelope a day or two or three a week and by Christmas, you will have reached your goal. If you don’t have Christmas cards left over from last year, do a Christmas letter instead to save time and money. Then after Christmas buy the cards for next year at 75% off so you’ll have the cards ready to go for next year.

Now is also the time to shop for Christmas gifts. Many huge sales take place during Back to School Days and the day after Thanksgiving. Most stores have huge discounts on name brand clothing, toys and jewelry to name just a few categories.

Example: Last year a diamond bracelet valued at $5,000 was on sale for $199.00 but only the day after Thanksgiving and only during the early bird special. That’s typical of the type of sales you can expect if you do your research.

Check out the stock in the store now if you’re already there and make a list of what you would like to buy on sale the day after Thanksgiving so you are prepared to head straight to the departments needed. Making a road map of what department you want to hit first, will help you avoid wandering aimlessly and missing the items you’ve placed on your list. If you think of it as a game show or competition, you’ll be more inspired.

There are many more stress busting ideas and ways to save money that you can come up with on your own. These are just a few to get you started. The main goal is to start now and be ready when the time comes so you won’t be shopping when you’re stressed out and frustrated. Make the time now and you’ll be enjoying the holidays as you did when you were a kid.

Anything worth having is worth working for and must be worked towards. “Having more money” (it makes it easier to buy things, but doesn’t bring love.);

Owning “a bigger house” (unless you have the money to hire a housekeeper, it will only keep you from your love while you are cleaning.); “If I were better looking.” (Beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder. I have seen “less than perfect” people with “stunning” mates.” It really is about how you feel about yourself inside that will reflect outside.) All of these superfluous externals are fun, but don’t bring happiness or peace in a relationship.

Some of the richest people in the world with every luxury at their finger tips and people at their beck and call still have the nastiest divorces time and time again. Isn’t that a great example and lesson to all of us “not so fortunate” people who aren’t blessed with their lives and the kind of money they posses; that money doesn’t make a relationship happy?

Time, effort and determination are what make a relationship thrive. I’m not implying those people with wealth don’t put the time and effort into their relationships, only that all the things many people say, “If only we had…” won’t make your relationships last longer or be happier than theirs were.

Some of the best relationships have several things in common, one of those being laughter and a humor about life not to mention a lot of hard work. These are always a common thread for every thriving and joyful relationship I encountered.

What the people in these relationships have always told is: Work hard; don’t lay your head on the pillow angry, and resolve hurtful situations right away. Fundamentally however, they laugh with each other every day and laugh often. But if your relationship is in the deep end of the pool without a life jacket, something that can help you light the love torch in your love life is Soul Gazing. Soul Gazing is the simple technique of gazing into your partner’s eyes. I usually recommend 15 minutes, but in the beginning, 4-5 minutes works.

You aren’t allowed to talk or look away from each other. I have witnessed Soul Gazing strengthen couples that were already on firm ground and help others on the brink of catastrophe.

To get the love you deserve, there is a very simple rule that I wrote about a while back: Love is a gift, it’s not a right. It’s is a decision, not a feeling. Make the choice to make your relationship strong so it will last the test of time and you too can have the long-lasting and profound love you deserve.”

But how do you achieve the perfect kiss? Each person has different feelings about the way they like to be kissed. A general rule for the first kiss is to be soft and brush their lips gently, without thrusting your tongue into your partner’s mouth as if you were playing tonsil hockey.

Once you are in a relationship, go outside your comfort zone and ask your partner what they think would be the perfect kiss. For many women, and men as well, it’s important to set the mood for the perfect kiss.

While rushing your loved one into a heated kiss when you first walk in the door after work can be very stimulating and arousing, using this method every time may cause your partner to withdraw.

Here are a few tips to help you:

First, you need to set the mood. Whether that means taking your arms, wrapping them around your partner and gazing into their eyes for even a brief time, putting on music that you both love and cuddling on the couch or dancing in the living room, just do it.

Once the mood is set, gently take your partner’s face into your hands, using one of them to gently run your fingers through their hair lovingly, then softly kiss the surface of their lips, not seeking anything deeper.

As soon as you have reached that moment, gently pull away to gaze into your partner’s eyes again for a brief moment before you venture to the lips again.

Next, gently rest your lips again on your partner’s, slowly taking them between yours in a soft sucking motion. Do this for a short time before you proceed to the next step.

Remember, whatever you do, don’t just thrust your tongue into your partner’s mouth upon first touch. Once you have achieved a massaging of their lips for a few minutes, gently glide your tongue into your partner’s mouth, letting it play with their tongue as if the two were dancing together.

Every so often (but not overdoing it), thrust your tongue deep into your partner’s mouth and then gently pull away to again mingle with their tongue. This move can be a very sexy and intoxicating move when used correctly and during the right moment in the kiss.

Don’t keep your tongue in your partner’s mouth for the entire time. Keep changing positions in the way you hold them, caressing your partner’s backside without making it a sexual overture and moving back and forth from dancing with their tongue to massaging their lips.

Caress your partner’s hair again; cradle them in your arms while you are gazing into your partner’s eyes, and then begin the kiss again. Once you get the hang of this, ask your partner what they like and don’t like again. Kissing is an art and each individual person has different preferences.

This is because words are very powerful and whatever you say can never be taken back. So try to follow a few basic steps when a heated argument arises in your life. Step back and don’t say a word until you have had a chance to process the situation. Try to really hear, not just listen to what the other person is saying. Even if you don’t agree with them, accept the fact that it’s how they feel; and you will go a long way if you hear what they are saying. Your partner will begin to feel validated and believe that you do care about their feelings.

Once you have listened to your partner’s side, offer to sit down to discuss the matter together. It’s important to use an even tone, no matter how angry you may be. Once you are seated, start asking questions about why your partner feels the way he/she does and listen to his/her response, again using an even tone. Be sincere. After you have listened carefully to your partner’s side, explain how you feel without acting as though you are trying to win a debate and annihilate them.

Ask your partner what he/she thinks a fair solution to the problem would be, and listen thoughtfully, continuing to look him/her in the eye. Tilting your head a bit to the side will give a non-verbal cue that you are even more interested in what your partner has to say. Tell your partner that you value his/her opinion and offer what you think a good solution might be if it should differ from his/hers, again using an even and sincere tone.

If there still remains a difference in opinion, try to come to some sort of compromise. You both may even need to walk away and think about some things for a while, agreeing that once you come back together you will come to some sort of compromise. Don’t let anything–children, phone calls or anything else–get in the way of coming back together for a resolution. If you let the problem go, it will only fester and explode into something bigger at a later date. Resolve it now!

If the problem is too large for both of you to find a compromise, you may need to seek someone from the outside–a wise friend, a counselor at your church or a professional counselor–to help you to come to a resolution. Whatever you both decide on, make sure that you follow through on the decision and not just brush it under the rug. Do what you say, say what you do!

If you don’t already have a woman or a man in your life, it may seem extraordinarily hard to meet the right person. Maybe you’ve done the online dating scene and found that it isn’t all that it’s hyped up to be. Often, the people involved (men and women) don’t measure up to their profiles or pictures. Because we have a select group of friends, we tend to see the same people at all the functions, B-B-Q’s, parties and other events. Same faces with the same stories that become all too familiar. So where do you meet compatible and available singles?

Before I go any further, let me preface this by stating something I am certain everyone has heard. Before you can find the “right person,” you must be the “right person.” Sound familiar? You can be given all the information you need to find someone, but if you are the same person with the same values and beliefs about yourself you have always held, you will attract the same. The law of attraction is: similar kinds attract similar kinds. So first you must get your own life together and stop putting out the “I’m desperate to be in a relationship, and if I just found one, I would calm down and be happy.” You need to calm down and be happy before you meet the right person or you will end up in the same cycle you have always been, “with the wrong person.”

Enough of that…let’s move on to the dating room. The dating room is a place I define where someone can go in order to meet other singles with similar interests. A good way to begin to find your dating room is to think about things that interest you (maybe you have always wanted to try skiing) or hobbies you already have. Once you do this, you can find a club that caters to people of that specific interest. All across America there are car clubs, sports clubs, dance clubs, checkers clubs, chess clubs, water-skiing clubs, snow clubs, dog clubs, you name it.

Once you have a few ideas written down, you can begin to gather the necessary information about the clubs or events that occur in your city or region. Look in your local newspaper for a variety of interesting options, including neighborhood picnics, fireman breakfasts, charity singles auctions (where dates with local men and women are auctioned off for charity), travel tours, public dances (ones not held in a bar or a pub, such as a beginner’s square dance), charity events or even a beginner’s salsa dance night. For dances, make sure that it’s not a “partner necessary” event by calling ahead.

Other search options are to type in your Internet Browser: www.citysearch.com to find out the local happenings in your area. Another effective way to meet someone would be to volunteer for a charity, such as the Special Olympics, Make-A-Wish Foundation, United Way or UNICEF, to name a few. It’s important to participate with sincerity, but you may also meet your soul mate there. You may find someone who will most likely have the same philanthropic views that you do.

Finally, while I don’t know anyone who has participated in the Singles International Club, I have heard of it. Check out your local chapter (search the Internet for specifics) as they hold dances and picnics for singles to meet. They also have the Singles Travel International Club. This is just a short list of good meeting places to get the ball rolling. However, no matter which place you choose to go, remember that in all of your approaches it’s best not to try to be “suave” or “debonair.” Be yourself. Smile so that your eyes shine and be genuine. You will go much further if you behave in a kind manner than if you put on an act.

The point is to think outside the box. Here are a few more ideas for you to grab onto: Go to a super market at a specified time (I explain this technique in my book, Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time, but it’s too lengthy to go over here), go to your local coffee shop, search your local newspaper for social events such as holiday hay rides, pancake breakfasts, library socials, etc.

A little side note for those of you who are bitterly shy: In a football game, “freezing” occurs when a player holds the ball for a long period of time without attempting to score points. You can’t “freeze” if you want to participate in the game of love. You MUST forgo shyness. You will never make it onto the playing field until you do. There is nothing anyone can say or do, no magic potions or pills and no amount of coaching that will do this for you. Practice in the mirror or on a friend to help you overcome it. Join a theater group and get on stage. That will throw you into the spotlight and may help you overcome your fears.

Many of you are reading this article because you have had the same results in your dating experiences over and over again. How can you change that pattern? It’s a very easy solution, but one that takes a lot of work when you have a pattern you have engrained in your subconscious mind and that is: If you want the same results, do the same things you have always done. If you want different results, you must do something different!

We have all felt the pressure and stress that comes from trying to buy holiday presents for everyone at the last moment, the strain that it puts on our finances, and we all resolve not to fall into the same trap next year. And yet, year after year, many of us find ourselves repeating the same situation. Now is the time to start making plans so that you can enjoy shopping and be stress free during the holidays.

The best way to plan you shopping to be stress free during the holidays is to start buying some presents now. While this can be difficult to do for children, whose desires seem to change more often than the weather, it is possible to pick up presents for adult friends and family members. By getting the jump on some of these Christmas purchases, you can enjoy holiday shopping and be stress free during the holidays this year. Save those last minute purchases for those small children whose wish list continues to change. Not only will this save you time during the holidays, it will also lessen the strain on your pocket book since the cost of holiday shopping is spread out over several months instead of a few weeks.

You can enjoy shopping and be stress free during the holidays more if you consider doing some of your Christmas shopping online. Not only can you often find deals online that are significantly cheaper than anything that you could find locally, but you also avoid the hassle that comes from fighting off the holiday shopping crowd. Of course, doing your Christmas shopping online requires some planning since you need to make your purchases at an early enough date to ensure that they will have been delivered by the time the holidays roll around. Many of the bigger online vendors publish dates that represent the last day that you can buy from their store and expect delivery by the holidays.

Another way to enjoy shopping and be stress free during the holidays is to set up a Christmas fund. This can be a separate bank account or just funding in your primary account that you do not touch. Adding some money to this account every pay period during the year will help out with the financial crunch brought on by the holidays. The memories of the holiday season provides joy all throughout the year, so it make sense to spread the cost out throughout the year as well.

If you haven’t been on stage often and don’t really know how to put on a show, here are a few simple techniques and pieces of advice on how you can succeed in bringing your audience back for more and having them be your best piece of free publicity, word-of-mouth.

Practice: A well-practiced musician/singer puts on a better show. Why? If the words and chord changes are engrained in your mind and you have practiced them relentlessly, you won’t have much to worry about once it’s time to hit the stage. A well-honed piece of music means you will be able to concentrate on the audience instead of the song.

Watch the music pros do their shows: Follow the leaders. Rent DVD’s of some of the top selling concert performers in any genre of music and pay attention to both the noticeable interaction the performer has with the audience in addition to the little nuances. They are participating in audience chatter, which helps build a sense of belonging for the audience members. Some of the top selling performers that audiences expect an excellent show from consistently are:

Celine Dion
Prince
Dolly Parton
Madonna
Kiss
Shania Twain
Barry Manilow
Tina Turner

Other outstanding performers are:

Christina Aguilera
Beyonce
Jay-Z
Justin Timberlake
Britney Spears

Watch stand-up comics: Renting a DVD of your favorite comic will help you gain comedic timing for your own show. When an audience laughs with you, it makes their time with you more memorable. Pay attention to what the comic says on the DVD and watch the reaction from the audience. Listen to how the comic says his or her one-liners and jokes. Also, watch how often he/she uses current headlines in their comedy routine.

Read up on current events: Integrate current events into your audience chatter.

Pull from your past: Pulling stories and events from your past and incorporating them into your show at the right time will bond your audience with you in a deeper way. People are more interested in others they can relate to than those they can’t.

Build a routine for your show: Think of yourself as an actor and build a routine for your show. Write down things to say and memorize them. Flesh them out and put yourself in the audience’s position: Would you find that line funny? Does what you are going to say make sense in your set order?

Build a routine in your show with your band mates: Learn dance steps and fun physical routines to rock your audience out during your show. Audience members love to watch as a guitar player, a bass player and a singer move across a stage together with perfect ease and in perfect step.

Step onto a home stage: Grab a few friends and put a show on for them at your house. Use them as a mock audience and gauge their responses to your rehearsal. Poll them after to find out what made them pay more attention to you during the show and what made them yawn.

Build a rapport with your audience by learning to involve them in your show: There’s nothing that gets an audience more excited than the possibility of being pulled up on stage and sharing a mic with you or pointing them out during the show and having a chat with them.

If you mess up, your audience will forgive: If you forget the lyrics, mess up on the chord changes or pause a little too long in-between song, your audience will forgive you as long as you are humble and own up to your mistake. Play the roll of a diva and a lot of the audience won’t come back for more.

One last note: Stage fright is a common factor for those who perform. Learn to embrace your stage fright because in many cases it may help you make a much better show for your audience.

Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown At A Time a Simon and Schuster / Fireside book written by Jaci Rae is driving football loving men and women right into their end zones by tackling the subject of improving romantic relationships.

Winning Points shows readers how to score big points with their partner. Peppered throughout Winning Points are football trivia stats to hold the interest of even the most reluctant reader as well as insight and football career highlights by some of the most celebrated NFL Football players in its history.

NFL players know the importance of communication during a game and Winning Points teaches you the same strategies NFL players use to score touchdowns and win the game.

“I’ve always believed that to communicate well you have to get to a place where people will not only hear you but understand what you are saying. You can’t be an outsider looking in, you have to be a participant and interact in their world.” says Rae.

“If you don’t understand the language of your partner, communication errors will happen and conflict will arise. A perfect example would be when I was in Australia with some friends. We all spoke English. It’s Australians primary language as a matter of fact.

Yet when my friends and I were there we found many of the words we used had completely different meanings than intended. Several ordinary words used in most American households referencing a purse and a brand name clothing line in the U.S. had extreme sexual connotations that we didn’t know about until after we spoke them.

Once we learned their ‘language,’ we communicated without error and of course we stopped wearing clothing by that brand while we were in Australia! The point is; if you want to have a long lasting, life-fulfilling relationship, you’ve got to make a decision to learn the rules of engagement and learn the language. Love is a decision, NOT a feeling. It’s a gift, NOT a right.” states Jaci Rae.

Faster and faster each year they would go,
Till the fastest connection seemed way too slow.
No longer did anyone need company around.
Who needs a friend when there’s so much to be found?

With the children all snug away alone in their beds,
Happily playing with visions of death scenes filling their heads.
Laptops, television and computer game boxes at hand.
Parents don’t need a babysitter; there is no demand.

No longer are they children, but miniature adults,
Being thrust into a world filled with lust and cults.
The family table holds nothing but dust,
And the living room center is no longer a must.

In a house that no longer holds family traditions,
Sharing family stories isn’t an appealing addition.
A night with a Storybook, who needs to read out loud;
With books that read for you, two is a crowd.

Social skills are lacking in a solitary world of confinement.
Manners aren’t necessary, no need to refine them.
Then suddenly one year Cyberspace disappeared,
And the roar from the crowd could be heard far and near.

Suddenly people didn’t know what to do;
And sitting alone, they each cried boo hoo.
As each day passed the crowd thought the end was here;
But Cyberspace was lost, and didn’t reappear.

Slowly the isolated crowd came together
To share their thoughts, not talk of the weather.
Having not seen a human in quite a long time,
They struggled to find at least a few ties that bind.

The elders came out of their bedrooms with care
To share how it used to be and to compare.
How the family unit was today versus then,
And what fun they would have with just paper and pen.

A time when the family played games on a board,
and the family table held more than power cords.
When camping meant fires, guitars and no phones,
And being on vacation didn’t mean faxes and ring tones.

When family and friends were cherished, not a commodity,
And talking with your neighbor was more than an oddity.
With Cyberspace gone everyone decided to give it a try:
This old-fashioned way, when the Internet didn’t apply.

At first it was hard, no one knew what to say;
But soon it caught on and for more than a day!
Suddenly the violence so often on the street
Calmed down to a hush and thuggery saw defeat.

No longer was it necessary to lock all your doors;
Visiting with family was no longer a chore.
Family and friends now gathered all the time
To share special moments without any crime.

When Cyberspace was restored and crept back inside,
The parents cried no; you could hear it worldwide!
So with careful discretion they allowed its use,
But with strict supervision and no way to abuse.

And so without all the clamor or deafening cries,
The world became better; no one could deny.
Cyberspace is an asset to that I confess;
But without limitations, it leads to a mess.

Peace on Earth — Good Will To Men Copyright 2006 Jaci Rae and North Shore Records, Inc.

Ernie Ashworth: Well my own advice would be, if you pass a country radio station, go in there and introduce yourself. Take a CD in with you to see if they will play it or interview you.

Maybe there are some good disc jockeys out there that can do the same thing that they did for me. It’s a lot harder now than it was back in my day. But I still go in when I pass a radio station and see if I can meet the disc jockey.

I am just blessed by the Good Lord to do what I do and disc jockeys made that possible. I don’t mind stopping in there and doing an interview with them even to this day. Even though they aren’t into traditional country music and they are programmed, I still stop in and say hi to them.

Jaci Rae: How did it work back in your heyday for royalties? I don’t know if they gave you performance royalties back then. They don’t now in the U.S., but they do in Europe.

Ernie Ashworth: I made…I forgot how much I made, but most of the money was made on personal appearances. If you had a hit record back then, the price that you were paid for a performance went up.

Jaci Rae: So you weren’t paid a percentage of the profit from the sales of your records?

Ernie Ashworth: When I recorded, they advanced the money and paid for all of the recording costs. They took that money out of my record sales.

Jaci Rae: But once the costs had been paid back, did you receive a portion of the profit?

Ernie Ashworth: No. They always held that money for future sessions.

Jaci Rae: What was life on the road like for you back in the day?

Ernie Ashworth: We toured by automobile, Bettye and I. They (Hicksville Records) sent me out on 20-30 day tours at a time. There would be times when I would do a show, be done at 10 or 11 PM, and then Bettye and I would head for the next date. She was a good night driver; I didn’t like to drive at night.

Bettye would drive all night long and I’d be sleeping in the back seat. When the sun came up she would stop and wake me up. Then I would drive all day and she’d get in the back seat and sleep. Back then, the only one who had a bus was Lester Flat; everyone else drove in an automobile.

Jaci Rae: Do you remember your very first appearance on the Grand Ole Opry and who was playing with you?

Ernie Ashworth: It’s been years now, but I know I was scared to death that night. There were artists like Patsy Cline, Loretta and Little Jimmy playin’ that night. After that, I sang on the Opry every now and then. Then Loretta went to the managers (at the Grand Ole Opry) and told them she wanted me on there as a member. She’s the one responsible for my induction.

Jaci Rae: Tell me about your tour of Elvis Presley’s mansion.

Ernie Ashworth: Back then, they used to have the DJ convention in Nashville. This was before Fan Fair. It was just for artists and DJ’s. Elvis Presley was there one year and nobody paid any attention to him.

He just went around like the rest of us to the DJ’s. The very next year is when he hit big. And I tell you what! You ain’t never seen such a mad house in all your life! There were so many Elvis impersonators that when you walked in the door, women were all over the place outside.

And with so many Elvis impersonators, the women would grab just any of them thinking they were Elvis, and Elvis wasn’t even there that year! Somebody would say, “There’s Elvis!” and women would grab the impersonator!

Back then, I used to get a Christmas card from Elvis every year. To me he was just another artist, so I would give the cards to the kids. I should have kept those cards, ’cause I’d be a millionaire. Bettye and I went to Memphis and stopped at Elvis’ house to thank him. We walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

His mother came to the door and I told her “I’m Ernie Ashworth. I’m from the Grand Ole Opry. I just wanted to stop by and say hi because I’m a big fan of Elvis Presley.” Mrs. Presley said, “Well Elvis has a lot of your records and he loves your singing.”

Then she took Bettye and me on the grand tour of their house. She took us to places most people couldn’t go. I thanked her and she said, “Elvis is a big fan of yours.” That made me feel real good!

Jaci Rae: Didn’t you end up in Hollywood at one point?

Ernie Ashworth: I was lucky enough to be one of the top artists of that era, so they called me to Hollywood to make a movie called “The Farmer’s Daughter” in 1965. They had a part in the movie during a picnic scene and needed a recording artist to appear in it. So they flew me to Hollywood.

Jaci Rae: Which awards have you been nominated for, Ernie?

Ernie Ashworth: I won the Billboard and Cashbox awards for just about everything they have. I’ve won Male Vocalist of the Year, Song of the Year, Record of the Year, and others.

Jaci Rae: You were recently nominated for a Grammy, correct?

Ernie Ashworth: It was for Gospel Recording of the Year a few years back.

Jaci Rae: When were you inducted into the Grand Ole Opry?

Ernie Ashworth: 1964. I was also inducted into the Traditional Music Hall of Fame, Gospel Music Hall of Fame and Country Music Hall of Fame.

Jaci Rae: Aren’t you still having huge success in Europe?

Ernie Ashworth: Yes. I was voted the No. 1 most played Country Music Artist in Europe this year. I’m still getting real good airplay over there.

Jaci Rae: They love you. I’ve seen the crowds clamor for you. I love that little white, lip suit you have! Ernie, what other advice would you give to up-and-coming musicians and songwriters today?

Ernie Ashworth: When you get knocked down, stand up and keep going. ‘Cause you’re gonna get knocked down. You don’t make it in the music business overnight unless you’re one of the select few that has an immediate top ten or No. 1 record. It took me a long time to make it big in the music business and join the Grand Ole Opry.

Jaci Rae: Didn’t you appear on The Midnight Jamboree quite a bit?

Ernie Ashworth: Ernest Tubb, he really took a liking to me. I appeared with him on The Midnight Jamboree. When the show was over, he said, “You’re the only one I have ever offered this too. But I like you. I like your singing. I like your humility. I’ve never done this for anyone in all my years here at The Midnight Jamboree, but you have a standing invitation to come and be on this show every Saturday night if you want to be.”

For someone like him to do that for me was quite an honor. I didn’t do his show every week. I did it quite often, but I didn’t want to do it all the time and take a chance away from someone else.

People helped me get started and I try to help others if I can. I’ve never been greedy for a career. I’d rather help someone than hurt someone.

Jaci Rae: We’re in the process of writing the story of your life and I am so excited about that.

Ernie Ashworth: I’m very excited as well. There isn’t anyone else I would want to write it. Many people have approached me, but you’re the only one I want to write about my life.

Jaci Rae: Wow Ernie! I didn’t know that! Thank you! You’ve had an incredibly fun and diverse life. On top of everything you’ve accomplished, you’ve also accomplished an incredible marriage with Bettye.

Do you have any advice to those who are married in the music industry or are in a relationship with someone in the music industry? How can they have success in their relationship when one person may be on the road all the time?

Ernie Ashworth: It is very hard. I’ve had so many people tell me that Bettye and I are a unique couple. They say that normally a country music entertainer is married four, five, six times, and Bettye and I have been together for years. She’s helped me from day one with my career and we laugh a lot together.

Jaci Rae: What are your plans for the future once Bettye is well?

Ernie Ashworth: As soon as Bettye is better, we’re going to Florida for a vacation!

Jaci Rae: Thank you, Ernie, for sharing a piece of your life with the about.com audience.

Ernie Ashworth: It’s been great talking with you, Jaci. Bettye and I love you and we sure enjoyed the tour we did together and hope we can do it again soon.

If you don’t already have a woman or a man in your life, it may seem extraordinarily hard to meet the right person. Maybe you’ve done the online dating scene and found that it isn’t all that it’s hyped up to be. Often, the people involved (men and women) don’t measure up to their profiles or pictures. Because we have a select group of friends, we tend to see the same people at all the functions, B-B-Q’s, parties and other events. Same faces with the same stories that become all too familiar. So where do you meet compatible and available singles? Before I go any further, let me preface this by stating something I am certain everyone has heard. Before you can find the “right person,” you must be the “right person.” Sound familiar? You can be given all the information you need to find someone; but if you are the same person with the same values and beliefs about yourself you have always held, you will attract the same. The law of attraction is: Similar kinds attract similar kinds. So first you must get your own life together and stop putting out the “I’m desperate to be in a relationship; and if I just found one, I would calm down and be happy.” You need to calm down and be happy before you meet the right person or you will end up in the same cycle you have always been, “with the wrong person.”

Enough of that…let’s move onto the dating room. The dating room is a place I define where someone can go in order to meet other singles with similar interests. A good way to begin to find your dating room is to think about things that interest you (maybe you have always wanted to try skiing) or hobbies you already have. Once you do this, you can find a club that caters to people of that specific interest. All across America there are car clubs, sports clubs, dance clubs, checkers clubs, chess clubs, water-skiing clubs, snow clubs, dog clubs, you name it.

Once you have a few ideas written down, you can begin to gather the necessary information about the clubs or events that occur in your city or region. Look in your local newspaper for a variety of interesting options, including neighborhood picnics, firemen breakfasts, charity singles auctions (where dates with local men and women are auctioned off for charity), travel tours, public dances (ones not held in a bar or a pub, such as a beginner’s square dance), charity events or even a beginner’s salsa dance night. For dances, make sure that it’s not a “partner necessary” event by calling ahead.

Other search options are to type in your Internet Browser: www.citysearch.com to find out the local happenings in your area. Another effective way to meet someone would be to volunteer for a charity, such as the Special Olympics, Make-A-Wish Foundation, United Way or UNICEF, to name a few. It’s important to participate with sincerity, but you may also meet your soul mate there. You may find someone who will most likely have the same philanthropic views that you do.

Finally, while I don’t know anyone who has participated in the Singles International Club, I have heard of it. Check out your local chapter (search the Internet for specifics) as they hold dances and picnics for singles to meet. They also have the Singles Travel International Club. This is just a short list of good meeting places to get the ball rolling. However, no matter which place you choose to go, remember that in all of your approaches it’s best not to try to be “suave” or “debonair.” Be yourself. Smile so that your eyes shine and be genuine. You will go much further if you behave in a kind manner than if you put on an act.

The point is to think outside the box. Here are a few more ideas for you to grab onto: Go to a super market at a specified time (I explain this technique in my book, Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time, but it’s too lengthy to go over here), go to your local coffee shop, search your local newspaper for social events such as holiday hay rides, pancake breakfasts, library socials, etc.

A little side note for those of you who are bitterly shy: In a football game, “freezing” occurs when a player holds the ball for a long period of time without attempting to score points. You can’t “freeze” if you want to participate in the game of love. You MUST forgo shyness. You will never make it onto the playing field until you do. There is nothing anyone can say or do, no magic potions or pills and no amount of coaching that will do this for you. Practice in the mirror or on a friend to help you overcome it. Join a theater group and get on stage. That will throw you into the spotlight and may help you overcome your fears.