Can we believe in ever lasting love?  Is it possible to enjoy the happiest “ever after” life imagined?  I can’t tell you how many times I hear people say, “If only we had more money;” “A bigger house;” “If I were better looking;” “If I lost more weight;” “My life would be perfect;” “Our relationship wouldn’t have so much stress;” “I would be happy.”

When we look at “beautiful” people” who travel the world with an endless supply of money.  They have beautiful mansions and an army of staff waiting to do their every bidding: publicists, managers, accountants, housekeepers and chiefs.”  “If only I were in their shoes.”

There is a great illustration and lesson to all of us “not so fortunate” people who aren’t blessed with their lives and the kind of money they posses; that money doesn’t make a relationship happy.  Just look in your local paper to see how many of the “beautiful people” are heading to divorce court.  Time, effort and determination are what make a relationship thrive.  I’m not implying they don’t put the time and effort into their relationships, only that all the things we say, “If only we had…” won’t make our relationships last longer or be happier than theirs were. 

If you want a lasting relationship you’ve got to laugh and have a sense of humor about life.  You also must put in the work.  At least that’s been my experience as well as the experience of many other long lasting, happy couples I have interviewed over time.  There has always been a common thread for every successful and happy relationship I have interviewed over the years.  Every one of them say the same thing:  They work hard; don’t go to bed angry, resolving “issues” right away; and they laugh with each other.

Something that can help you regain the sparkle in your love life and ignite your passion again is something I call Soul Gazing.  It’s a simple technique of gazing into your partner’s eyes.  I usually recommend 15 minutes, but in the beginning, 2-3 is fine.  No talking, no looking away.  I have seen this technique strengthen relationships that were already strong and help those relationships that were on the brink of disaster.  Try it.  If you want to have the love you deserve, remember my simple rule:  Love is a gift, it’s not a right.  Love is a decision, it’s not a feeling.  Make the decision to make your relationship right, so you too can have the lasting and deep love you deserve.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 18th, 2009 at 10:17 pm and is filed under Relationship Articles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.