The top four dating strategies for a successful date aren’t as hard as you think. However, let’s take a trip back in time. A nostalgic trip back into the world of our first dating experiences. Back to the world of…High School? Yes High School. Many of us are haunted by memories of our first date and the nervous tension that resulted from the anticipation of it: “Did I pick the correct outfit?” “Will I smell good to them?” “What will I say during those awkward moments of silence?”
Much to our chagrin, things are pretty much the same as they were High School. The only difference is perhaps we are in better shape (hopefully), have more money in our pockets and we have settled more into our life. Even though High School may be a thing of the past, often we ask the same question and still get that same sense of nervous anticipation before we embark on a first date with someone.
For many, dating is a mind boggling and very nerve-racking experience even for the most skilled and savvy dater. Recently, I asked both men and women who dated frequently (3-4 times a week on average) if they still had first date jitters. The same answer echoed through 93% and that was a booming, “Yes!”
Although the seemingly confident and beautiful people who had a never-ending supply of potential dates as well as a line of prospective suitors, still got first date jitters. So for those singles that still have troubling memories of their past dating experiences, how do you jump into the dating pool and begin to swim again? Unlike swimming in a pool filled with water, don’t dive into the deep end of the dating pool first, even if you remember how to swim. There may be sharks lurking, waiting to attack. It’s always best if you start in the shallow end of the pool.
How do you jump into a pool that you’ve been out of for a while without drowning? The same way you learned when you begin, by putting one foot in at a time. The first step might be to head to a charity event in your area. Why not participate in something that is harmless and be a philanthropist at the same time. If you love to help others, most likely you will find others just like you at the even with similar interest.
Try not to be nervous, but because most of us usually are, you will need to prepare for your first encounter just as you would if you were vying for a promotion at work. Practice ahead of time! Make up little 3×5 flash cards with subjects that interest you. Ones that you can easily hold a conversation about with ease. You can also use questions that are conversation initiators (forget about the weather, that’s a dried up subject).
The following are a few subjects you can use that are sure to spark some sort of interest and stimulate a conversation:
- Liven up the tête-à-tête with topics of any new travels you may have embarked on.
- Ask questions about their career and what made them decide on the field they are in.
- Talk about your family (positively)
- Ask about their family (if they shy away, you need to also)
These are just a few examples of conversation topics. If you become stuck and aren’t able to think of anymore conversation stimulators on your own, scour the Internet for the myriad of resources on the topic of conversation.
Besides a charity event, what other places can you find a dating pool in your area? There are many. Just look in your local newspaper. But here are a few starters for you.
Coffee Café’s
Sporting clubs (the kind that you actually participate in sports)
Sporting Events that are hosted for singles or by specialty functions
Take a course or a few courses at a junior college or community center
Grocery Stores or outlets
The most important thing to consider when you’re swimming in the dating pool is to avoid distasteful manners. That’s protocol is determined by the pool you are in. Good luck and remember, start at the shallow end before you dive into the deep waters, a life vest may not be available.
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